The strategic ramifications of rock, paper, scissors

So, the City Beat did that story the other day about the rock-paper-scissors tournament at Gilly’s. Cementing my place as the funny-games-grown-people-play reporter. I don’t know if you realize the amount of research that went into that story, some of which failed to make it into the story for lack of space.

Below, you’ll find some links that discuss the game that everybody knows but no one has mastered:

• Sometimes it’s hard to tell if these RPS enthusiasts aren’t just yanking your chain:

Rock, represented by a closed fist, is commonly perceived as the most aggressive throw. It taps into memories of fist fights, tall and unmoving mountains, rugged boulders and the stone ax of the caveman. Without realizing it, most players think of Rock as a weapon and will fall back on it for protection when other strategies appear to be failing.

Dude, seriously. What are you smoking?

• Then there’s all this thought put into the physical skills and the tactics:

"Cloaking is the term used for delaying the unveiling of the throw. Put a little more simply, "Cloaking" is waiting until the last possible second to throw Paper or Scissors. Some players will watch your hands for an indication of which throw you are about to use. By not moving your fingers until the last moment, you can fool such a player into thinking you are throwing Rock. Since a hand-watcher will respond to a well-executed cloak with paper, cloaking Scissors is generally more useful than cloaking Paper….

"Meta-strategies" go beyond selecting your throw. In fact, in many cases, their purpose is to let you select your opponents throw! Meta-strategies are as numerous as shells on the beach, but they are all based on one of two principles.

The first is: "If you can make your opponent believe what you want him to, you can make him behave how you want him to." This is usually accomplished through pre-game conversation or in-game banter. No one ever said RPS was played in silence!

• Then there’s this:

Avalance [Rock, rock, rock]: A subtle, yet aggressive Gambit. It was the first of the Triple Gambits developed in the early 1890s. The Avalanche is a relentless and devastating offensive maneuver, which requires bravado bordering on recklessness to execute.

The crescendo [Paper, scissors, rock]: The slow-building nature of this Gambit makes it a very elegant opening series. The devastating Rock is the coup de grâce that gives the Gambit its name.

• Just when you thought this couldn’t possibly be real. Programmers are teaching computers to play roshambo, another name for rock-paper-scissors. Here’s details of how the winning computer program did it using what one might call "Sicilian logic." The program is called "Iocaine powder." Why is it called that? Because of this scene from The Princess Bride.

Man in black: [turning his back, and adding the poison to one of the goblets] Alright, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink – and find out who is right, and who is dead.

Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemies? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you… But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in black: You’ve made your decision then?

Vizzini: [happily] Not remotely! Because Iocaine comes from Australia. As everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So, I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Man in black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait ’till I get going!!  …where was I?

Man in black: Australia.

Vizzini: Yes! Australia!  And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin,so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in black: You’re just stalling now.

Vizzini: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you!  You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong…so you could have put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.  But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied…and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!

Man in black: You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.

Vizzini: It has worked! You’ve given everything away! I know where the poison is!

Man in black: Then make your choice.

Vizzini: I will, and I choose…[pointing behind the man in black] What in the world can that be?

Man in black: [turning around, while Vizzini switches goblets] What?! Where?! I don’t see anything.

Vizzini: Oh, well, I…I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [Vizzini laughs]

Man in black: What’s so funny?

Vizzini: I…I’ll tell you in a minute.  First, lets drink, me from my glass and you from yours.

[They both drink]

Man in black: You guessed wrong.

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool!! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!

[Vizzini continues to laugh hysterically.  Suddenly, he stops and falls right
over.  The Man in black removes the blindfold from the princess]

Buttercup: Who are you?

Man in black: I’m no one to be trifled with. That is all you’ll ever need know.

Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.

Man in black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up
immunity to iocaine powder.

Man, I love that scene. Thanks for indulging me.

• Here’s a whole section I had to cut out of my story about the many names of rock-paper-scissors. I didn’t entirely trust Wikipedia so I went checking foreign language Web sites, including Wikipedia in other languages, using Google to translate:

Rock-paper-scissors is one of those games that seem to have somehow magically appeared in every continent on Earth. In Asia, the Japanese call it "jankenpon," the meaning of which is obscure. The Filipinos call it "jack en poy" because thats what "jankenpon" sounds like to them.

In South America, its "ca-chi-pun" to the Chileans because the Brazilians who taught it to them called it "jo-ken-po." And the Brazilians called it that because of the Japanese immigrants who taught it to them.
In Africa, the South Africans play "ching chong cha," which sounds suspiciously like there are Japanese involved somehow.

In Europe, the French say "pierre-feuille-ciseaux" or "rock-paper-scissors." Sometimes they add "puits," or a well, and "pente," or a slope. Italians give credit to the Chinese, calling their version "morra cinese," morra being an Italian game involving the guessing of the number of fingers both players will hold up together.

The Chinese, by the way, contest Japanese claims of having invented rock-paper-scissors. They call it "jian dao-shi tou-bu," or "scissors-stone-cloth."

Then there are the claims that the ancient Greeks invented it. The World RPS Society says, probably tongue-in-cheek, that anthropologists it hired have found evidence of this.

In North America, the game is sometimes called "Rochambeau" or "Roshambo." Some claim it honors Jean-Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, the count of Rochambeau, and a French hero of the American Revolution.

Yes, they play it in Oceania, too and the Aussies call it rock-paper-scissors. And they hold championships as we do.

• It does pay to practice hand-to-hand combat. Here’s a story about the auction house that made oodles thanks to tactics from 11-year-old twins. Here’s a story about dueling attorneys and a game of roshambo.
• If all this talk makes you wanna play, here’s a French Web site where you can play with the computer. Sorry, you can’t fake out your Dell.